World of Madness
by bec-starlight
Summary: Ryou Bakura is a happy little fairy boy who lives in an insane place where different worlds have come together as one. Contains angstshipping and mentions of psychoshipping and thiefshipping.
1. Chapter 1

Something, something, something… dark side… Once upon a time there was a magical fairy boy who was British and liked Scotland. He owned his own Loch Ness Monster that lived in a pool in his backyard and was named Misha Collins, Misha for short. Oh, and the fairy boy's name was Ryou Bakura. Ryou was also gay, so that makes him a gay British fairy boy. Hot stuff!

So one day Ryou went to his pool to say hi to his Loch Ness Monster. He flitted his way to the side of the pool and started waving. "Hi Misha! How are you today?" cheered Ryou as he put on a straw hat.

Misha flung his head out of the depths of the pool and started to sing his every word as usual because he was once on Broadway. "I'm very good today, Ryou! I was just wondering when you were coming to visit."

Ryou chuckled a pansy-like laugh. "Oh Misha, aren't you quite the charmer? Perhaps you would like to enlighten me to one of your stories from when you were a raging monster that enjoyed destroying towns and slaughtering hundreds of people? You know I love listening to your stories as I bask in the sun and tan my pasty British skin and expose my glittery wings to warm them up!"

"Ooh!" cried Misha excitedly as he flailed around a bit. "I'd love to tear off your leg, rip out your spine and shove it up your anus!"

Ryou halted with total shock slapped on his face as he stared at the beaming Loch Ness Monster. "You're joking, right?" questioned Ryou in his feeble little English voice. "I mean, you're my best friend. Right Misha?"

Misha just stared into the soul of the fairy boy with a toothy grin. "What? Did you actually believe all that barmy I said about becoming friends? Dear Ryou, you are quite the gullible fairy!"

Ryou was totally horrified. "You're telling lies and slander! I'll slap you hard if you don't stop this nonsense!" He stood boldly yet still gaily with his hands on his hips. Ryou flicked his white fringe out of his face, sort of like Justin Bieber. "You are my best friend, Misha Collins! With the power of friendship I shall erase those bloody ridiculous thoughts!" Ryou stretched out a hand towards the slimy creature in the pool, and with a strong 'ahh!' he rid Misha of his deranged thoughts. You know, because he's magical.

Ryou waited for a moment as the mighty Loch Ness Monster remained stiff as a plank, still staring into his soul. Ryou waved his hand in front of the monster's face but it still did nothing. He thought he must have killed Misha until he started wailing and thrashing about like a Pikachu having a seizure.

"Ryyyoouuuu!" screamed Misha in fury. "Your friendship powers are useless against me! Now fairy boy, prepare to die!"

"Oh bollocks!" cried Ryou as he raised a fist in the air and started to flap his glittering wings to carry him away. Misha thrashed around some more, he leapt high into the sky with his mouth snapping after the Brit. All of a sudden Ryou felt terrible pain in his back as Misha bit into his wings and dragged him back to the ground beside the pool again. Ryou was trapped because the pain in his back totally stopped him from getting up and running away. He cowered with an arm raised in front of him as the Loch Ness Monster made a freaky hissing noise and went in for a final strike.

"Noooooo!" bellowed a familiar annoying voice over the top of Misha's intense roaring. Right before Misha was about to maul Ryou to death, a tanned dude in very feminine clothing holding a gold stick (aka, Millennium Rod [it has new magical powers]) and thrust himself in front of Ryou and pointed his stick in Misha's face. "Avarda Kedarva!" he screamed. A bright green light erupted out of the dude's stick and hit Misha in the moustache, causing it to fall off and therefore kill the beast. Misha's corpse slowly slid back into the pool and when he was satisfied that Misha wasn't coming back out, Ryou's saviour turned around to face the injured fairy.

"M-Marik!" stuttered Ryou in surprise as he did the Mexican wave on his own.

"Yes Ryou, it is I, Marik Ishtar!" cackled Marik like a crow. Marik was Ryou's ex lover who happened to be a wizard, or maybe it was a nurse, Ryou couldn't remember. But anyway, they used to be lovers who liked eating ice cream together and going on ships. They broke up because Ryou felt that he wasn't British enough for Marik, he then ran away and never spoke to the wizard-nurse again. That and Marik had an insane yami that was bloody terrifying. How coincidental it was that Marik would show up just in time before Ryou was going to be killed by his pet Loch Ness Monster.

Ryou sorely got to his feet and leant against a giant iPod to stabilise himself. "Marik, what the bloody hell were you thinking? You killed my prized Loch Ness Monster!" Ryou had his angry face on, no one messes with his Misha even though he turned out to be a raging lunatic.

Marik looked sad, he even did puppy dog eyes. "I only wanted to protect you…" Ryou no longer had his angry face on, instead he began to cry. Marik pulled an ice-block from his pocket and offered it to Ryou to wipe his eyes with. Ryou took it and listened as Marik began to speak to him. "I miss you Ryou, we never got to drink that final cup of tea and discuss world domination."

Ryou sniffed and tossed away the used ice-block. "But I'm not British enough to make you tea."

Marik placed a caring hand on Ryou's shoulder. "You are British enough, Ryou. You're oh so British, so British that I can almost taste it."

At queer display of minor affection from Marik, Ryou pushed Marik aside and fled into his house where he sat in the corner of his teapot room and cried his little eyes out. Everything had gone so wrong, he'd only wanted to say hi to Misha and now all this had happened. Ryou felt his back and sadly discovered that his fairy wings had been torn off during Misha's crazed rage. He cried even harder because he knew that the wings would never grow back and he wouldn't be able to fly to the gay bar ever again. Not even magic could bring them back. Ryou remained in his teapot room for the rest of the day and wouldn't answer the door because he knew that it was Marik knocking. He couldn't deal with not being British enough for him at the moment even though Marik had reassured he was.


	2. Chapter 2

A week later and Ryou still hadn't left his pink teapot room because he was still grieving the loss of Misha and his glittery wings. Marik didn't swing by again. Maybe he'd given up and accepted the fact that Ryou simply wasn't British enough for him. Oh, and did I mention that Marik is also Egyptian? Well he is. Anyway, Ryou was very sad and he admitted deep down that he also missed planning world domination over a cup of tea with Marik. They were both so incredibly evil, despite Ryou looking like the cutest thing you've ever seen. Like really. Well, Ryou himself wasn't overly interested in world domination. That was more his yami's thing.

Back to the story, one night when Ryou finally managed to drag his pansy pommy ass out of his teapot room and finally fix himself some Easy Mac for dinner, there was an ominous, terrifying knock on the front door that sent shivers of terror up Ryou's spine. Maybe it was the ghost of Misha coming to steal his Easy Mac once it was cooked. Ryou wouldn't stand for that, he loved Easy Mac! So Ryou grew a pair and grabbed a meat cleaver that was sitting on the floor beside some singing mice. He'd hack that Loch Ness Monster ghost to bits.

Sneaking upon his gay tippy toes, Ryou crept down the hallway and had a peek through the peeky hole in the door. Expecting to see the ghost of his former pet, Ryou tightened his hold on his meat cleaver, but upon seeing the lilac eyes and blonde hair of Marik, he set the meat cleaver aside and wondered whether he wanted to answer the door or not for his ex. Maybe he'd pray to nyan cat for advice.

Bringing his fairy hands together and closing his eyes, Ryou began to pray. "Oh heavenly nyan cat, Marik is at the door but I don't know whether to open it up or not because I'm scared that I'm really not British enough for him and then his yami will come out and tear me a new fuck hole. So nyan cat, what should I do? I really need some advice right now to save my little twink ass." Ryou fell silent and listened hard in the hopes that his prayer would be answered.

All of a sudden, he heard something inside his mind. "Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan!" it said enthusiastically. It was nyan cat and it had given Ryou the advice he needed! Ryou thanked the mystical flying poptart cat and turned to the door that Marik was still standing it. It appeared he had now acquired a smoked salmon and was eating it.

"Nyan, nyan, nyan." explained Ryou through the door, still not opening it.

Through the peeky hole, Ryou saw Marik put away his salmon and was looking intently at the door. "Ryou, are you alright?" He seemed very confused, maybe he couldn't understand the language of the nyan cat. Suddenly the wingless fairy felt scared, maybe he'd made a mistake. He remained quiet but still watched his highly attractive wizard-nurse in secret with much longing. He saw Marik sigh and place a hand on the door. His fingernails were well manicured, they even had little rainbow stickers on them. "Can you open up? I'm sorry for killing your Loch Ness Monster." Again, Ryou remained silent. Why was Marik even here? To apologise? There had to be more than that.

Ryou kept on watching Marik, too shy to even face him properly. For a sixteen year old, Marik was quite smexy. Marik sighed once more. "Please, Ryou…" Ryou couldn't hold off any longer, the kind tone in Marik's voice made him feel a little more at ease. He unlocked the door and opened it up a bit. Marik smiled when he saw the fairy boy and took a present from behind his back. "Here, I have a gift for you. May I come in?" Ryou looked over Marik again with sadness in his eyes.

"But I'm not British enough…"

Marik offered the present again, this time forcing Ryou to take it. "I've never said that you weren't British enough. Trust me, I 'hate' how British you are."

Ryou handled the present in his hands carefully before looking back to Marik and pushing the door open wider. "Come in." The Egyptian strutted inside, the swing of his hips made Ryou think of why he first asked Marik out in the first place. Because he was so bloody gay and so bloody effeminate that Ryou could hardly resist. Hairy axe wounds never appealed to either of them.

Ryou led Marik into his kitchen because he'd just heard his microwave ping, meaning the Easy Mac was done. He set Marik's present on the bench so he could get the bowl out of the microwave. As soon as the aroma of the Easy Mac reached Marik's nose, he frowned slightly.

"What the devil is that horrendous smell?" he demanded in disgust.

Ryou froze and blinked adoringly. "Easy Mac."

Marik then burst into a smile. "Oh yummy! I love Easy Mac!"

"You wanna share? I collect forks!" Ryou then pulled out a massive bag of forks of all sizes and held them up for Marik to admire.

"I thought you collected teapots?"

Ryou nodded eagerly. "Yeah, but I collect forks too."

Marik laughed like the wizard-nurse he is and took a fork from Ryou's bag of forks. "Okay then. This sharing business sounds great!"

They then went to the lounge room and sat on the couch together with the bowl of Easy Mac between them. Ryou never thought he'd get to share meal with Marik because they'd never done that before. Marik wasn't the sharing type of person. But maybe he'd changed and that's why he'd protected Ryou against Misha and was visiting. They ate the Easy Mac rather quickly because Ryou hadn't eaten for days due to spending all his time grieving the loss of Misha and his wings. When they were done, Marik set aside the bowl and forks and met Ryou's eyes.

"So did you open the present?" he asked, sounding like Darth Vader.

"Oh bollocks! No I didn't! I'll go get it." Ryou jumped to his feet and pranced into the kitchen and back again with the present in hand. He plonked back down next to the Egyptian and carefully tore off the purple floral wrapping paper. Marik had remembered that his favourite colour was purple, how sweet. Amongst the tonnes of Styrofoam that had been packed into the present, Ryou finally came across a purple teapot that had the words 'I hate you, Ryou Bakura. I hate you so much that I love you.' written on its sides. Ryou looked up at Marik with glistening eyes. "Really, Marik? You hate me so much that you love me?"

Marik nodded slowly with a small smile. "I'm afraid so. I never stopped hating you, even after you left me. It's been my aim for this past year to find you again just to give you this custom made teapot as a symbol of my hate-love for you."

In the blink of an eye, Ryou surprised Marik by leaping onto him and giving him a highly gay and affectionate hug. "Oh Marik! I love you too! And to think that I thought I wasn't British enough for you."

Marik eventually returned the hug and letting go of his stupid attempted manliness, he pressed his face against the warmth of Ryou's neck. "I want you back, Ryou. I want to love you for the rest of my life and not let you leave again. And I promise I won't kill any more Loch Ness Monsters you might want to get in the future."

"It's okay, Marik, I don't think I'll be getting any more Misha's anyway." The fairy boy ran his hand over the blonde's hair, glad to actually be this close to him because it had never been like this before. "Stay with me tonight," he said. "And stay tomorrow night too."

"I will." Marik kissed Ryou's lower neck, making the pom press himself harder against the Egyptian and gasp quietly. He kissed higher and kept going until he reached the fairy's jaw, he then looked Ryou in the eyes before hesitantly pressing a kiss to his pale lips.

It was unlike Marik to kiss like that, he didn't used to be as gentle and he usually preferred to rush things. But Ryou wasn't complaining, it was nice to have Marik back and being so caring. When Marik moved back, Ryou became shy and awkward. His cheeks flushed red and he bit his lip as he spied Marik looking up at him with such adornment. "So um, is going to be like how it used to be?" asked Ryou quietly.

Marik shook his head. "No, it's going to be nothing like how it was in the past." He pushed part of Ryou's hair from his eyes and appeared to be choosing his words carefully before eventually spitting it out. "We'll go at your pace… But no more hugging." There, that was the Marik Ryou knew. But Ryou simply laughed and held onto Marik tighter.

"Too late."

Marik made a small groan but he didn't try to shove Ryou away. Instead, he moved around a bit until he was comfortable lying on the lounge, then he allowed the Brit to lay upon him as he pleased. "You're lucky you're British, Ryou. If you weren't, I'd so be in charge right now."

Ryou laughed softly once again and removed the heavy gold from around Marik's neck before going back and placing his hand on the now exposed skin. "I didn't even realise I was in charge."

"Well aren't you Mister Observant?"

"Shut your tea-hole, Marik!" Ryou teasingly bit onto Marik's neck and was satisfied when he realised that they'd easily fallen back into their old relationship comfort level so quickly. "I love you."

Marik chuckled and snuck an arm around Ryou's lower back. "I love you more, you limey. I got you a bloody teapot saying so." The Egyptian's hands snuck up Ryou's back but hurriedly shot off when Ryou yelped in pain and started to tremble slightly as he sat up and tried to rub at his back without avail. Marik too sat up and looked over the fairy boy in concern. "What happened?" asked Marik.

Ryou felt his eyes beginning to glisten again. "Didn't you notice that my wings are gone?" Marik made a small 'o' shape with his mouth but didn't say anything, allowing Ryou to keep speaking. "Misha tore them off when I tried to fly away when he was chucking his psychotic fit."

"Let me see, I might be able to do something about it." Showing Marik would be a good idea because he was a nurse after all and he'd had treatment for his own back in the past. Ryou removed his cardigan and then his shirt before turning around and letting Marik get a good look. He felt Marik's relatively cold fingers ghost over his sides and around the sore parts. "I'm going to need scissors of some sort and bandages. There are left over bits of your wings but the general wounds won't heal unless they're removed." So Marik did know his stuff.

With a sigh from having to lose all signs that he'd ever physically been a fairy, Ryou got up to hunt down scissors and bandages. Unable to find scissors that would be sharp enough to cut through the remains of his ruined wings, Ryou collected a knife along with the bandages and returned to Marik. Upon his arrival, Ryou hid a smile as he felt Marik's approving eyes on his torso before they moved to the knife in his hand.

"You really want me to use that?" questioned Marik in surprise. Ryou stood motionless as he traced his fingers over the handle of the blade.

"You're going to have to dig into my back to get the roots out or they'll rot and make me sick." His voice had gotten even smaller and even more fearful.

Marik shook his head and pushed away the knife when Ryou tried to hand it to him. "As much as I'd like to put a knife into the rest of humanity, I don't want to put you through that kind of pain. And I didn't know that fairy wings have roots."

Ryou nodded slightly. "Yeah they do, and when the wings are torn off but the roots are left, they go bad and can end up killing the unfortunate fairy." As much as Ryou hated to admit it, he'd rather get sliced open than die of root poisoning. "You have to do this for me, Marik. I can't do it myself." He offered the knife again and Marik looked at it as if he were afraid of it. He frowned slightly but eventually took the knife.

"Aright. But I'm really sorry, it's not a good feeling. I'll try use some spells to lessen your blood loss, but unfortunately I'm not very gifted with healing spells." With that, Marik stood up and took his golden stick out of his pocket. Apparently he kept everything in his pockets. They were never ending, kind of like the Never Ending Story but cooler because he's Marik. "Let's do this in the bathroom. Easier to clean." He really sounded like he didn't want to do this, it made Ryou a little upset that Marik was going to do the exact same thing that had happened to him so long ago. A time so long ago that it was even before he went to Hogwarts. Yeah, Marik went to motherfucking Hogwarts because he's a wizard.

Once in the bathroom, Ryou situated himself on his stomach upon the cold bench top that ran across one wall of the room and nervously watched as Marik adjusted the knife in his hand. He placed his empty hand on Ryou's back before taking a broken wing in his grasp. "I'm sorry, Ryou." he muttered before the point of the knife pierced Ryou's skin. At first it was extremely uncomfortable but the deeper the knife drove and when it started to move, Ryou couldn't keep quiet. He knew he had to stay still and let Marik keep going, but it was just so hard when there was a fricken knife in his back.

"I know it hurts," hushed Marik sadly. "You can do it, Ryou. You'll be better when it's done." The knife moved again and Ryou let out another pained cry. If Marik could withstand getting his whole back sliced and burnt, Ryou knew he could survive getting only two sections dug up. Although, as the pain kept coming in ever stronger waves, Ryou wasn't so sure. And the whole time, Marik kept on apologising.

* * *

><p>When it was all done and Ryou was cleaned and bandaged up, he put himself to bed when Marik insisted on fixing the bathroom back to the way it was before the home surgery. It felt strange for Marik to actually be doing things instead of having Ryou do everything. The Egyptian teen had changed an awful lot, he used to be quite cruel and emotionless at times, but now he was quite considerate and caring even though he still obviously had his teasing flair. Why wasn't his yami's vicious personality interfering with him like it used to?<p>

Ryou lay on the bed on his stomach and both hands raised up and tucked under his pillow. The aching throb of his back prevented him from sleeping. Maybe he'd become nocturnal and get bat-like abilities. The creaking of the door pushed away his ridiculous thoughts and Ryou shuffled a little as he saw Marik in the doorway. His lilac eyes seemed to glow in the dark as he entered the room and closed the door blind behind him before making his way to Ryou's side.

"How are you doing now?" he asked quietly.

"Bloody fantastic." croaked Ryou in reply. His throat had gone coarse from screaming so much.

The wizard-nurse ran his hand along Ryou's pale arm. "You asked me to do it."

"I know, and thanks. Now get in the bed."

A cheeky grin spread over Marik's face. "I've never heard you say it like that."

Ryou huffed in annoyance but chose to ignore Marik's statement. "Come on, I'm not going to make you sleep on the lounge."

With that, Marik took off his shirt and climbed in under the blankets. Since the bed was a bit small he lay close to Ryou, but he was tense as if he were refraining from doing something or was nervous. Marik being nervous? Now that was a new one. Nonetheless, Ryou slid one hand out from under his pillow and left it in the open, hoping that would encourage Marik to take it. However, Marik did not. Eventually Ryou was drifting off to sleep. His eyes were lightly closed and they had been for a long time. Right before he fell into unconsciousness, he felt Marik hesitantly put a hand over his own and hold onto it gently.


End file.
